MASON AND JULIA MEET KRIS KRINGLE
TimeDecember 1987 (Episode #852)
SettingThe Orient Express
CharactersMason, Julia, Kris Kringle, two Santas
PremiseIn a previous scene, Julia has agreed to interview Santa Clauses for her former brother-in-law, Lionel Lockridge. The following is a transcript of Kris Kringle's first of his annual appearances.
TranscriptTwo Santas in full regalia are sitting at the bar. They're each nursing a beer and one of them is eating peanuts.
Santa #1: (to the peanut-eating Santa) Are you going to hog the whole bowl?
Santa #2: All you had to do was ask. (Shoves the bowl of peanuts at Santa #1) You're here for that Santa thing too, huh?
Santa #1: (sarcastic) No. I just like to dress like this. Especially when it's seventy degrees out.
Santa #2: Anybody ever tell you you're a little hostile for this line of work?
Kris Kringle, dressed in plain clothes, enters the bar and approaches the two Santas.
Kris: Excuse me, is this where they're holding the interviews?
Santa #1: (amused) You're not hoping to play Santa, are you?
Kris: Why, yes, I am.
Santa #2: Little puny, aren't ya?
Kris: Never stopped me before.
Mason arrives and shoots a brief glance into the bar. He walks over to Julia, who's on her way to the bar area, carrying a clipboard.
Mason: Still busy with the candy cane concession?
Julia: Oh no, I finished that a long time ago. Now I'm going to be interviewing prospective Santa Clauses.
Mason: Oh, I knew there was a reason there were two guys in red suits waiting in the bar.
Julia: (surprised) In the bar? Drinking?
Mason: Yeah, and it wasn't milkshakes, either. It's kind of nice to know that even Kris Kringle can fall off the wagon now and then. It gives me hope.
Julia: Well, excuse me, I'd better not keep them waiting.
Mason: I want to go with you. I want to hear you ask the hard questions.
He follows Julia to the bar area, but the two Santas are nowhere to be seen. Only Kris Kringle is left.
Julia: (to Mason) I thought you said there were two men in costumes at the bar.
Mason: Yeah, they were right here just a few seconds ago. (to Kris) Excuse me. Did you see two Santa Clauses in here?
Kris: There's only one Santa Claus.
Mason: (chuckles) So the story goes, but...
Kris: It's no story. A lot of people, they like to dress up and play at being Santa Claus, but there's only one original Santa Claus and you happen to be looking at him. (sticks out his hand in greeting) Santa Claus, at your service.
Mason and Julia shake hands with Kris, thinking they've found themselves a nutcase. But did they?
Click here for a transcript of the next scene.