JULIA HIRES KRIS KRINGLE
TimeDecember 1987 (Episode #852)
SettingThe Orient Express
CharactersMason, Julia and Kris Kringle
PremiseMason and Julia have just met Kris Kringle, who showed up for Santa Claus interviews and claimed to be the real Santa. Click here for a transcript of that first meeting.
TranscriptMason and Julia are seated at a table with Kris Kringle.
Julia: (brightly) So, have you done this kind of work before?
Kris: Nothing else. Never in my life. Nothing else but.
Mason: But it's kind of seasonal, isn't it? I mean you can't very well walk around being Santa Claus in August, can you?
Kris: August? That's our busiest month. That's when we do our inventory.
Julia: (dumbfounded) Inventory?
Kris: Oh, yes. Santa, he doesn't like to repeat himself, you know? Bringing the same toys two years in a row? Oh, no, there's a lot of organization and planning. It's a full-time job.
Mason: I see. And where do you work normally? Your business adress?
Kris: The business adress is the same as the home adress. Yeah, I have a little workshop out in the back. Oh yeah, I'd hate to commute every day in all that cold and snow and ice.
Julia: So you're obviously not from around here.
Kris: I'm about as far away as you can get!
Julia: I have the feeling you're about to say the North Pole.
Kris: That's right. It gets a little chilly, but the reindeer, they wouldn't have it any other way.
Mason: (going along with the "joke") I suppose the elves are used to it by now, huh?
Kris: The elves? They have a much higher metabolism. They can take the cold. Not like you and I.
Julia looks at Mason for help. He gives her none.
Julia: Well, you certainly seem qualified.
Mason: Among other things.
Julia: You're hired. (Mason is stunned) You have the job. You start tomorrow.
Kris: (delighted) Oh, that's wonderful. (rises to leave) Well then, I'll see you at six o'clock sharp.
Julia: Okay. Wait, I forgot... (surprised at his sudden disappearance) Where did he go, Mason? Did you see where he went?
Mason: To a rubber room, probably, Julia. That man is mad as a hatter.
Julia: Mason, he's harmless. And I'll bet he can use the money.
Mason: I can't believe that somebody that deluded is out roaming the streets.
Julia: Well, he seemed happy and healthy. And very sweet, don't you think? I think he'll make a terrific Santa.
Mason: How do you know? He may walk in here tomorrow dressed as Napoleon.
Julia: For once in your life will you not be the voice of doom? It's Christmas!
Mason: You're right. It's Christmas. Maybe I should count my blessings.
Julia: If you can think of any.
Mason: It shouldn't be difficult. One of them is right in front of me.
Julia smiles at him, flattered.
Click here for a transcript of Mason and Julia's next encounter.